The Hurt & The Healer

I borrowed that title from a MercyMe song. Everyone is talking about the healing that needs to take place in my heart. I have no idea what that even means. I'm not exactly sure how to identify a "broken heart". My heart is sad in ways I just can't describe. My heart is sad about little things and big things. My heart is sad because I miss my mommy.

However, I don't think it's broken. You see, Jesus is in my heart and so I feel as though it can't be "broken". Without this Savior, I wouldn't have the assurance that I will see her again in heaven. I wouldn't have hope that someday my heart will be filled with more joy than sadness (like it was before). I am so thankful that I don't have to know that kind of broken heart.

I am sad everyday. I wish that I didn't have to be sad and so that is what I am working toward. I'll never be able to forget about her so I can't really see how I will ever not be sad like I am right now. I know that God has written a beautiful story for my life. At the moment, I can't understand that story. I know I'm not supposed to but it would be nice if I could know for sure that there will be a day when sad isn't my most prevalent emotion anymore.

I am filled with the pain of missing my mom all the time. It has been 3 weeks today since she met Jesus. Although, I can't figure out this healing that everyone is talking about, I am blessed to know the true Healer. And I trust the Healer with my heart, forever and always.


I'm alive
Even though part of me has died
Take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into Your arms wide open
When the hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Wake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
[MercyMe]

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