trying to be brave and stuff

Dear Momma, It has been a while since I have written to you. Life just gets crazy. I still think about you every hour, multiple times. I want you back. Yesterday we celebrated Grandma's life. You already know that since you were reunited with her when she left Earth to go to Heaven. The service drew just a small crowd. It was nothing like the celebration that we had for you!  I miss you more than I can say. I still tear up when I end up telling someone about you. It's still so fresh for me. Tonight I didn't have much to do and I was thinking about how I wish I would have spent more time with you. I couldn't have known though. I couldn't have known that the time was going to be so short. I can't believe you aren't here anymore. I don't think I'll ever be able to stop saying that. Two celebrations of life are two too many for this year. I don't want to go to anymore. I hope there aren't any more this year. Life is so fragile. You lived yours we

Hi Momma, Today is three months. 3 months without your voice. 3 months with no hug. 3 months with no "I love you". I continue to miss you like crazy. I don't think I will ever be able to stop. For a few weeks I just cried everyday. I thought I would cry everyday for the rest of my life. Sometimes I still think that. Here is what is new: We bought a new couch. It's a sectional and we think you would love it! It isn't being delivered until the end of August so we will have time to re-do the room...new carpet and paint. It's so weird to do things like this without you.  Camp is almost halfway over. I am looking into other jobs for the Fall but we will see what happens. I'm trusting God with it.  Lindsay still doesn't have a job but I guess she is looking. Dad still plays a lot of golf. I got into a big fight with them a little over a week ago and I wanted nothing more than to talk to you. I hate that...not being able to talk to you. I love to write you le

Momma, Today is your birthday. I was dreading getting out of bed this morning, but I was able to do it. God is looking out for me even when I feel far away from Him.  I thought about you all day. I miss you more than I ever thought that I could miss someone.  I'm guessing that there aren't any birthdays in Heaven because that seems like it would only make sense during our time on Earth. I hope you could feel our love today. We went out to dinner at the Macaroni Grill. We didn't talk about you too much. I always want to talk about you but I think some of the family feels uncomfortable doing that. Our waitress asked us if we were celebrating anything and we told her that we were celebrating you. The restaurant took 10% off our meal. I guess they felt bad for us. They don't need to though; you love(d) Jesus so you're in Heaven....waiting for us.  I didn't not get you a present this year because I was not sure what you would want. I hope that's okay. I wish I co