God Called Her Home

On Monday April 8, 2013, the most beautiful angel ascended into Heaven to be with her Savior. I'm so blessed to have been able to share 23 years of life with my momma. My heart is heavy and broken but I rejoice that she is free of cancer and pain and has new life in Heaven. She did not lose her fight with cancer because she was cured of cancer when she greeted The Lord.

At some point I am going to post the witness of her life that I wrote and read at her Celebration of Life on April 13, 2013.

I randomly cry but other than that I feel a strange sense of peace. Almost like it's not normal for me to feel like I do. Honestly, it feels like she is on a trip. I can't say whether or not it will hit me later. I have never been through this before and at such a young age, I'm not sure how I am supposed to feel. I am still able to laugh and smile and I'm so happy she is with Jesus.

When I started this blog a few weeks ago, I was supposed to have months left with her. It could have even been a year. Those months turned to weeks, which turned to days, and then into hours and minutes and finally seconds as she took her last breath here on Earth. I assumed I was going to be able to learn so many things from her in the months we had remaining. That wasn't the case. She was able to give a few last minute pieces of advice for all of the things she was going to miss out on. Other than that, I have to rely on the life lessons she taught through her own life. I'm scared that my memory will start to fail me and I will forget some of our memories together. We are no longer able to make new memories.

I wish my momma could write me a letter from Heaven to tell me that I will be okay or to shed some light on what Heaven is really like. It would resemble the postcards she used to send home from business trips or the letters from home that she would send to camp each summer.

I only got to spend 23 years with her. That means, I will live more of my life here on Earth without her than I did with her. That just doesn't seem fair to me and I'll probably never know why.

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