trying to be brave and stuff

Momma, It's our 3rd Christmas without you. We miss you so so much. I cried today. I really want you here. Lindsay reminded me that you were tired and God is taking care of you. I love you so so much. Can't wait to see you one day.  Love, Kelsey

That time I ran a half of a half marathon. You see, I've known myself for 26 years so I've learned a lot about myself in that time. One thing that I've learned is that if I want to achieve something, I need to plan for my inadequacies. When I sign up for a race, I know that I need to train for it. Some people don't need to train at all and I think that's awesome. It's also not me. I will say this again, I am not a runner. I am just not a natural-born runner. Running is HARD! It encompasses the mental game, that I've never been a strong player in. For this race, I decided to stick with the amateur training plan that I've used twice before. I didn't have a time goal in mind, just wanted to run the whole thing. runDisney races are for fun though and so you don't even have to feel bad if you stop to take pictures! I wanted to train so that I wouldn't need to walk any of it. A girl has to have some type of goal, right?  My first training run was o

Momma, It's been a while. Mostly because I am so far behind on blogging. So I'm just trying to catch up. Let's take a look at the past month. Lindsay and I went to a concert together in August 14. We saw Sam Hunt, Hunter Hayes and Lady Antebellum. It was awesome!!!  The following week was break week at school. I was able to complete all of my hours by Tuesday afternoon at 2. My first stop of vacation was Bath and Body works for some hand soaps. I made out well. Then I drove to Amy's house to hang with her for a bit! She was going to be induced later in the week! My break week was amazing! On Wednesday, I went for a morning run and then met Debbie for lunch at Cafe Fresco. Thursday, I met Kristy for lunch at Yellowbird Cafe. I spent the rest of that afternoon cleaning. On Friday, I played golf with dad! I didn't shoot very well but we had a blast! Plus, the weather was amazing! Sometime in the late afternoon, I texted Maria about how I wish we would have planned our

Mommy, This is my 100th post! Crazy! Let's see, the 27th month covered mostly the month of June and the beginning of July. I am so far behind on blogging that these posts are going to be short until I can get all caught up. Such is life, right momma? The middle of June brought the end of Regular School Year at Vista and I enjoyed two weeks of break week. Break week is seriously good for the soul. The first break week, I completed all of my hours in the first two days so I could help a student up in the Poconos at the Joni and Friends Family Retreat. What a cool camp! The second break week, I completed my hours throughout 4 days. Friday, July 3, was your birthday! You would have turned 60 years young! Dad, Lindsay and I went to Outback for dinner. That's typically one of our go to restaurants when we need to get something to eat. After dinner I headed off to the Senators game with some friends from work and Kristy and Tim. The Senators won the game in extra innings! It was

Only missed it by 44 minutes 

Mom, Today is my 26th Birthday. I cannot believe that you have missed 3 of my birthdays now.

Momma, Today is our 3rd Mother's Day without you. It's starting to become just another day. I hope that doesn't offend you. There are no gifts to buy and no celebrations to be had. I went to church today. For dinner, we went over to Deb's house. I wish I had more to write but for now I don't so I'm signing off. Love, Kelsey

Mommy, "Colleen - Know that the work you have done will carry on. The lives of the people you touched are better today because of who you are and how you helped and gave of yourself." Two Years. How can it already be April 8, 2015? It feels as though I was with you just last week while at the same time it feels like we've been apart for too many moons. It's like a Catch 22, I'm getting farther and farther from seeing you while getting closer and closer to hugging you again. Only God knows the exact day where more time will have passed than I will have left until we reunite. Does that make sense? For now, it has only been two years and could be so many more until I see you again. Some day that number will change and I won't know it but each day after that will be one day closer to you. "Colleen, you are an inspiration to many people. Your courage and strength are admirable." " There are so many times that you gave and gave yourself

Oh Mommy,  My heart is so broken for you right now. This season of the year is so hard for me. As I type this, tears are pouring out of my eyes. And just a little bit ago I had the silent sobs...the kind of crying where no one would know that you are crying. I held in the sound as my breath became shallow and my eyes drained the tears. At one point I did make a sound and I knew that was the kind of crying where it would have been loud and uncontrollable. So I held the sound back inside. I've learned a lot about crying over the past two years. I've cried so many different ways.  Tonight, I think back to our final heart to heart. We tucked you into your own bed (your final sleep there before we would keep you in the Hospice bed) and the rest of the family went for a bite to eat. My sweet best friends were downstairs making pancakes at 10:00 at night. I was laying on your bed with you.  We probably only chatted for 20 minutes but I'll never forget those precious moments. Oh, h

Momma, This month was pretty packed! I'm actually behind in writing it. Momma, some months just turn out like that.  I actually made two trips up to the Finger Lakes during the 23rd month. The first trip was for biddies weekend which we appropriately hashtagged bemybiddie. Rozzie and Shane organized it and we rented a house in Ithaca. We visited a few wineries but we had the very best time just hanging out, catching up, and playing games.  Dad gave us a scare this month when he ended up in the hospital with a kidney scare. It turned out that it was a mix of the flu and his medications. Thankfully he was released after three days and is back to normal!  We got to see our first Harrisburg Heat win of the season! They only won one other game which we had missed a few weeks earlier. Their last home game of the season was an epic win which was awesome!  My second trip up to the Finger Lakes was at the end of the 23rd month. It was a girl's weekend with my co-workers. We visited way

Momma, February 8, 2015. The twenty-second month. I haven't even written two full sentences and tears are sliding out of my eyes. The first thing that happened during this month was that Lindsay and I went to SkyZone. That place is really fun!  On January 12, I dropped my car off at the body shop to get two things fixed. One was from some debris that hit the driver's door and the other was the back bumper from when I was rear-ended in the fall by a lady who "wasn't paying attention". I was given a rental car for two of the three days that my car was in the shop. Dad took me to pick up my car on the 14th, and after I paid, I walked out to find that another customer just backed into my shiny scratch free car. I was in shock. Thankfully Dad figured it all out for me and I didn't even look at the damage (which was apparently very small). The gentleman offered to pay and when I went I pick it up on the 16th, he had written me a nice note of apology. That was really