trying to be brave and stuff

Momma, This is the last holiday of the first year that you will miss with us. Since Easter changes each year, last year it was a week before you passed away. This year it was two weeks after your passing anniversary.  I went to church with Dad and he sang in the choir during the 9:30 service. I went home and watched Scandal, my new favorite show. We had dinner that evening at Deb's house. The pretty much sums up our Easter. Easter is important to me for many reasons but if I am being completely honest, I take for granted what Christ actually did for me on the cross that day. This year it hit home that His death means that I will get to see you again in Heaven. I know that it means so much more than that but right now, at this point in my life, I am so so thankful for Christ sacrificing His life so that we can see our loved ones in Heaven.  I love you so much Momma and I can't wait to see you again because of what Christ did for us.  Miss you always. Kelsey

My Sweet Momma,       Today is that day: April 8th. The day you left us to be with Jesus. The day that I will never forget. Your last day on this Earth. The last day I was able to experience your human self. The last day I heard your voice, hugged you and told you that I loved you forever and always. Today is different. It is now April 8, 2014, the end of the first year without you here. There have been 365 days of heartache that will not relent. As I was driving yesterday I became overwhelmed at just how long a year really is. A whole year. When did that happen?       Momma, as I sit here a year later, I need you to know that I miss you with absolutely every fiber of my being. I miss everything about you. I miss the way you danced when you knew you were right about something. Or the way you recorded every single show on TV, because they were all "your shows". I miss how you enjoyed eating potato chips and bananas and chasing that with milk. I miss your smile and y

Momma, Today, April 8, 2012, is the twelfth month since you have been gone. I probably don't even need to say how much I miss you. I am actually having trouble remembering all of the things that have happened in the past month. It was a quiet month. Winter has been dragging on and on. The sun comes out at times but it is still always cold. The temperature is always in the 40's lately and is accompanied by wind or rain. We even had 2 snow storms come through in the past month, although, they were small. I usually have to look through my phone pictures to see if anything interesting happened each month. I really don't have too many pictures for the twelfth month. Some of the few pictures from the past month include: a wedding, chocolate world, trying on bridesmaid dresses, the weather, and hanging out with friends. I know that some months will be like that where not much has happened. As the weather gets warmer, Momma, you can be sure that I will have more exciting things to

Mommy, I feel so lost without you. Last year at this time you lived in our house with Hospice care. We just waited for God to call you home. I wish I had journaled about what each of those days was like. I really can't remember what we did all day for those few weeks. I know we took turns sitting with you and talking to you. We watched tv while you slept. I probably only showered once every 2 or 3 days. Who knows? And I guess who really cares?  I sit here tonight, missing you like crazy. I need to clean up my room but I feel almost paralyzed by sorrow right now. I know it will only last for a short while but I've got to clean because it's just too cluttered in here. I have Pandora playing on my iPad as I type this from my iphone.  I just had the most stressful two weeks at work but I am trusting that this is all part of God's plan. Losing you, was part of His plan. I think it's safe to say it has been my least favorite part of the Plan.  I keep thinking about what I