Twenty Two Months

Momma,

February 8, 2015. The twenty-second month. I haven't even written two full sentences and tears are sliding out of my eyes.

The first thing that happened during this month was that Lindsay and I went to SkyZone. That place is really fun! 

On January 12, I dropped my car off at the body shop to get two things fixed. One was from some debris that hit the driver's door and the other was the back bumper from when I was rear-ended in the fall by a lady who "wasn't paying attention". I was given a rental car for two of the three days that my car was in the shop. Dad took me to pick up my car on the 14th, and after I paid, I walked out to find that another customer just backed into my shiny scratch free car. I was in shock. Thankfully Dad figured it all out for me and I didn't even look at the damage (which was apparently very small). The gentleman offered to pay and when I went I pick it up on the 16th, he had written me a nice note of apology. That was really generous of him to pay for it. We went to Longhorn Steakhouse after to get some dinner. Lindsay and Dad kept laughing about it so they told the waitress. After we are, she brought me an ice cream sundae on the house! 

I had off school for MLK day so dad and I went to breakfast and then we went bowling! Deb bought Dad a bowling ball for Christmas so we went to get it drilled and then we played! 

We haven't gotten a lot of snow here this year but we have had some weather related delays and closings at school. We've had two snow days so far, a handful of delays and one early dismissal.

Here is a picture of the road in our neighborhood on the day of the early dismissal.

Lindsay, Dad, and I went to another Harrisburg Heat game this month. We went to a Saturday game and the night before they actually won! Lindsay was so bitter that we missed it! We are going to go to the final home games at the end of February.

Deb hosted a Super Bowl party. At least every other year I take a babysitting job but no one asked me this year so I was able to enjoy food at Deb's! She made homemade wings, sloppy joe sliders, pizza dip, veggie tray, popcorn, and caramel apple crisp! The Patriots beat the Seahawks in one of the craziest Super Bowls ever. 

This weekend I was really busy! On Friday night (the 6th), Kristy, Kate and I went to a new venue in Harrisburg. Harrisburg Young Professionals was hosting a happy hour at Knock, a 1920's speakeasy. The whole place is so detailed! It was actually really neat! I hope it does well! 

On Saturday, I was up early for an oil change. They wanted me to spend over $300 on different things! I said no thanks, I'll just take the oil change. Saturday afternoon, we all went snow tubing at Ski Roundtop! None of us had ever been before. Lindsay had too much school work so she wasn't able to go. Honestly, it wasn't that great. It was super crowded and so you had to wait about 30 minutes for each ride! It would have been a much better experience if we could have gone over and over again with a much smaller wait time! 

I went home to shower and then I met some of my coworkers and their husbands for the Hershey Bears game. It was my first time at a hockey game. Saturday was a day of firsts! I think I like hockey because it is like soccer. I can't ever watch it on TV thought, too boring! The Bears came from behind to tie the game 3-3 in the last 5 minutes. And then they won in overtime! The game was virtually sold out so it was really exciting! We ended the night at Arooga's! I had a really fun time! I'm so glad they invited me! 

Now that I have typed out all of the fun things in the twenty-second month, my tears have dried up. I still cry sometimes though.

This month there were time where I found myself surrounded by complete silence and then I would just start crying. I know there were multiple times this month where I spoke aloud how much I miss you. Actually, this month was the first time in a very long time where I had a dream about you. I believe I actually had two different dreams about a week apart. Unfortunately in both dreams you still had cancer but you seemed healthier and we had more time with you. I think I went shopping with you in one of the dreams and in the other I remember we were sitting on the couch. One of the very last (if not the last) times we sat on the couch together was the day after you came home with Hospice. We were sitting there as we waited for the social worker to come and walk us through everything. This made you really tired because it lasted for a few hours. You laid down and took a nap. It wasn't too long after the social worker left that we put you in the hospital bed where you would stay for the next 19 days. Early on you got up for different things with lots of help from us. Soon enough it took too much energy to get up so we just sat next to you 24 hours a day. Oh mommy, I remember all of that like it was just a few months ago. I don't remember every minute of every day but I remember the first few days of Hospice and the very last days of your precious life. Well I'm sure you can guess that I'm crying right now. 

Sometimes I think about how many tears I will have to cry until I get to see you again. The hours and the minutes can be painfully long but the months are zooming by. We are just two months away from two years. I'm trying to hold in sobs as I think about how long two years is. But I don't really have to think about that now. Instead I'll remind myself how much I have loved you for the last twenty-two months. 

Mommy, my heart still aches for you and you are on my mind daily. I press on though, knowing someday that I will see you again! If I got the chance to hug you right now, I'm sure I would sob uncontrollably but on the day I get to hug you in Heaven, I won't be filled with a single morsel of sorrow! Only joy! Wait for me, Momma, I'll be there someday. 

Love you always, 

Kelsey