Sunshine
It's been 2 weeks since Momma met Jesus. I miss her more than I have ever missed anyone. It feels as though we are in a waiting stage. We're obviously not waiting for her to come back...since that's not happening. That is what it feels like I am waiting for though. I feel like a child who doesn't understand that death means she's never coming back from her vacation. How could she possibly want to leave us? We loved her as best as we could. Ultimately, it wasn't her decision but she was ready to be out of pain.
I've been looking for God or my mom everywhere. There are a couple things that have happened since April 8, which reminded me that I am not alone.
-my mom passed away at sunset. God knows I am terrified of the dark so I think He was looking out for me when He planned this.
-the morning after my mom died I went out to move my car from the street to driveway and there was a tiny purple flower on my trunk. I brushed it off without thinking and then thought, maybe that's momma.
-a couple days after my mom died, I was standing in the foyer and a squirrel came to the storm door and stood up and looked in the house for at least 5 seconds. Even if that doesn't mean anything, it was still so neat.
-the red sparkles from momma's shoes show up everywhere. On Sunday, I was sitting in church and I saw one on the floor in front of the podium. One single piece of red glitter.
-the entire week from momma's passing to her celebration of life brought sunny weather. It rained on Friday but that was the only exception. I have solid memories of beautiful weather which brings a sense of peace to me.
It's hard for me to explain the amount of love I have for my mom. I wanted to be her roommate for the rest of my life. I very much wish that I could give her a hug right now. I can't and I will have to wait a lifetime to hug her again.
I've been looking for God or my mom everywhere. There are a couple things that have happened since April 8, which reminded me that I am not alone.
-my mom passed away at sunset. God knows I am terrified of the dark so I think He was looking out for me when He planned this.
-the morning after my mom died I went out to move my car from the street to driveway and there was a tiny purple flower on my trunk. I brushed it off without thinking and then thought, maybe that's momma.
-a couple days after my mom died, I was standing in the foyer and a squirrel came to the storm door and stood up and looked in the house for at least 5 seconds. Even if that doesn't mean anything, it was still so neat.
-the red sparkles from momma's shoes show up everywhere. On Sunday, I was sitting in church and I saw one on the floor in front of the podium. One single piece of red glitter.
-the entire week from momma's passing to her celebration of life brought sunny weather. It rained on Friday but that was the only exception. I have solid memories of beautiful weather which brings a sense of peace to me.
It's hard for me to explain the amount of love I have for my mom. I wanted to be her roommate for the rest of my life. I very much wish that I could give her a hug right now. I can't and I will have to wait a lifetime to hug her again.
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