Brave: Day 1

Being brave is waking up to your dad saying, "Kelsey please call 911 and get an ambulance for your mom. Also, I think Lindsay needs to fly home today." Actually calling 911 is brave. Plus, watching your mommy leave on a stretcher with oxygen on her face and pulling yourself together to get dressed and ready is also brave.

Another 'wait. what?' moment. I had just woken up after hitting snooze way too many times. The first thing I did was call 911. I spent the entire day at the hospital. I held Coco's hand at times and cried when she cried. I also laughed and said "that's not funny" when she tried to play tricks on us. My heart continues to hurt in a way that I can't describe. But I continually remind myself that God is only good. God worked to get Lindsay home by noon. God also sent an awesome friend to spend time with me today. And my best friend picked me up at the hospital and drove me home tonight.

As I am writing this I think, 'I thought these posts were going to be more meaningful or deeper than this one actually is.' Oh well. This is what I need.

It is nighttime here and I am always the most terrified during the night. I'm scared to fall asleep tonight because the last time I woke up from a night's sleep, I was calling 911 for my mommy who was barely responsive.

I still have no idea how to be brave. Tomorrow seems daunting. (was that an appropriate use of the word daunting?) I know that my God is here with me. As scared as I am, when my alarm goes off tomorrow morning, I will get out of bed and take on the day minute by minute. This is so much easier to say now that I presume I will see my mother tomorrow. I am going to end this post now because I'm exhausted. I made it through today and for that I owe it all to God.

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