Eight Months

Momma,

It is Christmastime and also it is my last monthly letter for the year of 2013. Today is December 8, 2013. Eight months since you left us. It is the 8th day of the 8th month. 

On November 9th, the family went to Philadelphia for the Purple Stride 5k for Pancreatic Cancer Awareness. It was a chilly but beautiful morning. Three of my friends from Messiah also came for the walk...Kristy, Heather K, and Katie B. Even Dad participated in the 5k which was really neat. 

November 24th was Lindsay's 23rd Birthday! It was on a Sunday and she had to work so we did a few different things during the weekend to celebrate. On Saturday, the day before her birthday, we went to the Harrisburg Heat game. They lost but it was still fun! We also went out to dinner on her actual birthday after she got done with work. We got her two cakes because no one communicated who was getting a cake. I think she had a good birthday but it was her first birthday without you so I'm sure that it was hard for her. 

Thanksgiving was this past month. It was on November 28th this year. I expected it to be weird but it wasn't as bad. I think that is because last year you weren't feeling too good so you joined us for dinner but then you went home to rest. We went to Deb's house like we did last year. They day went by really fast and it sort of just felt like any other day. 
I will say Momma, that I am nervous for Christmas. I think Christmas Day will be so hard for me. 

I am writing this letter in the car while riding home from NYC. All of the biddies met up in New York City this weekend for Rozzie's Bachelorette weekend! Momma, I had a very fun time hanging out with all of the biddies this weekend! On Friday some of us met at Nicole's apartment in the Bronx. It was Kate, Kristy, Ashley, Shalisa, and I who stayed at Nicole's. Saturday morning we went into Manhattan to meet up with Rozzie and her sisters and friend from home. Then Bryanna joined us at the hotel! Soon enough we headed out into the city. There were 11 of us! We went to Rockerfeller Center to see the tree and we walked through Times Square. We found a little place to have lunch and then we walked to our Pole Dancing Class! Momma, I can't wait to show you the pictures. 


We had such a fun time laughing and being silly thoughout the class! We went back to the hotel and chilled out until dinner at an Italian restaurant. We ended the party by dancing the night away at a club in Manhattan. We woke up and headed out around noon. I will see all of the biddies again in about three weeks at Rozzie's wedding! 


Mommy, I still miss you so so much! This life is hard without you here. I still cry almost everyday. I just can't help it. I saw my therapist the other night and we talked about missing you over the holidays. This year is going to be so different and I don't really want it to be. I wasn't ready for it but now I don't really have a choice. I still choose to be brave for you but I don't always do the best job of it. I know you love me anyway but I miss hearing you say it. Momma, people just don't understand but I so look forward to the day when I can hug you again. I know that it will be the best feeling in the world! I try not to think about how many decades away that could be. I love you more than you know and I wish I could tell you in person instead of on the internet. 

I love you forever and always. 
Kelsey

P.S. Please write or email if you can! I am curious to know what Christmas is like in Heaven with Jesus. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Year of Running

Image
Hello World, It's me, Kelsey. I don't actually have a plan for this post but I should start by being honest...today's day is actually February 23, 2015. This post is time-stamped back in December but I haven't gotten around to writing it yet. Today's date is significant though...exactly one year ago today I was chasing that Princess Half dream, 13.1 miles down the road. So today seems like a good day to write about my year of running. To get a clear picture of how this year of running came to be we should time travel back to June 11, 2013. The day that registration opened for the 2014 Disney Princess Half Marathon. A number of my friends and I had decided that we were going to do this. My phone reminded me all week that registration would open on June 11. When that day came, I was completely terrified. I knew I wanted to do it but the reality of it was that I really had never run more than 3-4 miles...ever. I held my breath, typed in my credit card information and h
Read more

The Hurt & The Healer

I borrowed that title from a MercyMe song. Everyone is talking about the healing that needs to take place in my heart. I have no idea what that even means. I'm not exactly sure how to identify a "broken heart". My heart is sad in ways I just can't describe. My heart is sad about little things and big things. My heart is sad because I miss my mommy. However, I don't think it's broken. You see, Jesus is in my heart and so I feel as though it can't be "broken". Without this Savior, I wouldn't have the assurance that I will see her again in heaven. I wouldn't have hope that someday my heart will be filled with more joy than sadness (like it was before). I am so thankful that I don't have to know that kind of broken heart. I am sad everyday. I wish that I didn't have to be sad and so that is what I am working toward. I'll never be able to forget about her so I can't really see how I will ever not be sad like I am right now.
Read more

Six Months

Image
Mommy, Hi! It's a milestone month...month 6. Where has the time gone? Some days I feel as though the time passes like a flash of lightning and other times I feel like the days drag on and I become frustrated about how far away seeing you again, really is. Here come the tears. They always come. This time, they are just freely flowing out of my eyes. I can't keep up with wiping them away right now, so I am letting them slide down my cheeks, over my lips. The tears that miss my lips fall onto my shirt, but I don't mind, because this day is almost over. It is October now. October 8, 2013. Fall is here and it has now been two seasons since you passed. September was hard because you had hoped that you could stay on Earth until that month. And I feel the same way, I wanted more time with you. Momma, those extra months would have never been enough. A few days ago I read through some of the cards you sent me while at college. Here are a couple that I love... This was a
Read more