Eighteen Months

Momma,

A YEAR AND A HALF. How is it that time has passed to a year and a half since I've seen you? Time just keeps on moving and it has no mercy for grievances. I think sometimes that's good but sometimes I just want you here while time freezes. 

Well this last month wasn't quite as eventful as the previous month. It is now Fall. I really do like Fall in the present moment. What I do not like about Fall is that it always turns to Winter. I feel like I could be happy with just summer and fall on repeat. 

I've been running a lot. About 4 days a week. Last "season", I trained at 5 days a week so I am hoping to finish out training strong by adding another day of running. The weather has been awesome for my runs! Windy at times but I've only have to go to the gym once or twice due to rain. It is so nice not to have to fight off the ice of Winter training. My run on Sunday was a struggle at best but today's run was fierce! Completely the opposite experience from Sunday! Glory to God! 

Momma, this was the view from my run today, in Harrisburg. I cannot even begin to imagine what your view was today and I'm certain it was a million times better than this! I'm so excited to experience Heaven with you someday!

I also used my birthday present from Deb & JP. It was a giftcard to get my car detailed! My car looked and felt brand new after it was finished. And unfortunately my car was also hit just two weeks later in a fender bender on the highway. It wasn't my fault so I'm working with the insurance to have the scratches fixed.

On September 19, there was another biddy wedding to attend. Shalisa got married to Jeremy and it was beautiful. The very first time I met Jeremy was the night of your Celebration of Life service when he came with Shalisa to hang out with all of our friends. After the wedding, some of the biddies continued to hang out late into the night! We hit up a karaoke bar and a diner and finally crashed at Shalisa and Jeremy's apartment around 3am! The next day, Kate, Nicole and I (the single ladies) spent the entire day together! Taylor was the honorary biddy for the day. We had a blast and none of us wanted the day to end! But there are always more biddie reunions to be had! 


This next month will be pretty busy with a bunch of fun things planned! I am going to continue to soak up the beautiful fall weather! 

Gosh, Momma, I seriously cannot believe we have reached the year and a half mark. I wonder if I will ever stop knowing when it is the 8th of the month. Last year on this day, it was just 6 months from when I had last hugged you. I was so different then, or at least I think so. I think I've grown a lot as a woman but also as a follower of Christ. There are so many things I have to do without you and countless times where I feel like I need you. I know those moments will always occur but I think as each hurdle passed and a new one appears, I find them to be not as high. Or maybe I have learned to jump higher. The days can still be hard. As the seasons change for colder weather, the days will be shorter and the nights will be longer. I've never liked the darkness of night because of how lonely it can feel. Maybe I'm the only one. But I'm also the only one who has ever walked in my shoes. I can't imagine what changes will occur over the next six months to close out our second year without you. I find that I struggle to be brave when I try to think about them. I'm finding that it is much easier to be brave in the moment than to try to be brave for the future. I'll just stick with right now, the 8th day of the 18th month. Although I haven't cried a single tear today, that does not mean that I miss you any less. Perhaps today, I felt completely surrounded by your love, a feeling I hope will never disappear. Even though it has been a year and a half since you've seen me (also), your love is still just as strong as it was on your last day on Earth. I remind myself of the words you said (words which I will never forget) on March 22. You told me that you would never ever stop loving me and you would love me from Heaven. You promised that death could not bring an end to the love that you had for me. (Here come my tears. The kind that just stream down your face) Oh how I wish we could write each other love letters! I cannot wait until our reunion where I will tell you that I never stopped loving you. I am certain that I will always love you and constantly miss you for every single day that I have left on this Earth. 

As tonight nears its end, and the year and a half mark will soon be in the past, I know for sure that I am now one day closer to seeing you again. How sweet it will be, to never say goodbye again. 

Momma, please know, that I love you more than there are leaves on this earth.
And I will miss you forever. Obviously.

Love always,
Kelsey

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