Fifteen Months

Momma,

It is now July 8, 2014. This date marks the 15th month without you. Why does the time never stop moving? I'm stuck between wanting to rewind it so that I can be with you and wanting to fast forward so we never have to say goodbye again. I know I should just live right where I am but it's very lonely here. I don't think I would want to rewind because then I would have to say goodbye on April 8th again. I never want to do that again. For now, I'll just wait...and dream about what it will be like to see you and hug you. 

I just finished the book, Heaven is for Real. I read it at the beach. In the book, the little boy says that there are no old people in Heaven. I imagine you waiting for me, looking like a younger, unfamiliar (to me), version of yourself. I think since I am your daughter you will recognize me right away when I get to Heaven. I picture myself arriving at Heaven's gates, you approach from afar, so anxious to embrace me. When our eyes meet, I will know that it is you and I will run to you and hug you so long and hard and that I won't want to ever let go! I can't wait for that hug! I want it now! 

The first part of summer has been very busy which I like because I get so lonely when I have nothing to do. 

First up was Father's Day. I tried out my kayak for the first time that afternoon! I had a great time on my solo trip. Dad dropped me off at that boat entry on the road to church and I kayaked home to the backyard. Only took about 25 mins and I spent some of the time just floating with the creek.

We went to Mikado for dinner on Father's Day. 
This is a terrible picture of me but I thought you would want to see anyway.

Next was Deb's birthday...which we still didn't celebrate! Hopefully soon though! The night of her birthday, Kristy had a birthday surprise for me. I knew it was planned for that night but I had no idea what it was. She took me to PaintNite! I was so nervous because I'm terrible at art but it was really fun! 

I left the very next morning to visit Bryanna for the weekend! I drove to Delaware and parked my car. We hopped into her car and headed to New Jersey for the first part of the weekend. We ate lunch and then it was off to the local bay beach for a few hours! 

We had dinner with her family that night and that was also fun! 
The next morning we got up early and drove to Long Beach Island! The weather was gorgeous and the beach was empty!
We left the beach around 1pm and went back to Bry's parents' house to shower. Then we left for Delaware. We attended the 9th birthday party of one of Miss G's students. It was so cute! We ended the night with a mediocre redbox. I can't even remember the name of the movie. 
The next morning we went to breakfast at this little place near Bry's house in DE. Then it was time for the Ice Cream Festival. It should have been more like ice cream tasting but you had to pay for everything. It was still fun. Then I left for home.

For the past two weeks, we have had break week at school! No regular school days! And we only have to work 15 hours each week at our client's home. I got to sleep in and finish early everyday! It was awesome! 

This past Thursday afternoon, I last minute decided to attend Kevin's annual Fourth of July party in NJ. Only because I would get to spend the weekend with Bryanna and Nicole! We had a blast! Or at least I did! I arrived late Thursday evening and Nicole and I stayed up late catching up! The next morning, Nikki and I ran a few errands and then met Bry and Kevin over at the party. It was at Kevin's cousin's house. The weather was cold! By cold I mean like 70 and very windy! I wore jeans and my coat all day outside! 
We laid by the pool, in winter clothes of course and ate lots of food! I learned how to play "beer pong" although my cups had water in them! Don't tell the other team! That night, Nicole and I stayed up late again having girl talk!  

The next morning we were off to Long Beach Island! Mom, I went to the beach two weekends in a row! The weather was so much different than the day before! It was sunny and 80! And there wasn't a cloud anywhere! 

I'm so glad I went to NJ! I had the very best time! I love these girls so much! Around 5, I got in the car and drove home. I didn't go straight home though. I met the fam at the movies in New Cumberland. 

And finally, on Sunday, Linds and I went kayaking together! We got in at the boat entry on the road to church and kayaked down to the IC pool. Dad picked us up there. We had a nice time! Kayaking is very fun!

Momma, I'm so happy to finally have stuff to share with you. I feel like the past two months were boring and I was worried that I would never have anything to new to say! I wish you were here to have fun with us but I can only imagine that Heaven is probably the nucleus of fun. 

I get so sad when I think about how long it has been since I've seen you and how long it will be until I will see you again. I hate all of that. I want you here, with me. My heart aches for you. Mommy, the second year is definitely worse than the first. It just feels so surreal the first year but now it just feels empty. We talk about how much we miss you, I probably say it the most but I know we all miss you! You should know that we will never stop loving you! You are the best mommy for us! We'll see you soon! 

Love you to infinity and beyond,
Kelsey

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