trying to be brave and stuff

Mommy, "Colleen - Know that the work you have done will carry on. The lives of the people you touched are better today because of who you are and how you helped and gave of yourself." Two Years. How can it already be April 8, 2015? It feels as though I was with you just last week while at the same time it feels like we've been apart for too many moons. It's like a Catch 22, I'm getting farther and farther from seeing you while getting closer and closer to hugging you again. Only God knows the exact day where more time will have passed than I will have left until we reunite. Does that make sense? For now, it has only been two years and could be so many more until I see you again. Some day that number will change and I won't know it but each day after that will be one day closer to you. "Colleen, you are an inspiration to many people. Your courage and strength are admirable." " There are so many times that you gave and gave yourself ...

Oh Mommy,  My heart is so broken for you right now. This season of the year is so hard for me. As I type this, tears are pouring out of my eyes. And just a little bit ago I had the silent sobs...the kind of crying where no one would know that you are crying. I held in the sound as my breath became shallow and my eyes drained the tears. At one point I did make a sound and I knew that was the kind of crying where it would have been loud and uncontrollable. So I held the sound back inside. I've learned a lot about crying over the past two years. I've cried so many different ways.  Tonight, I think back to our final heart to heart. We tucked you into your own bed (your final sleep there before we would keep you in the Hospice bed) and the rest of the family went for a bite to eat. My sweet best friends were downstairs making pancakes at 10:00 at night. I was laying on your bed with you.  We probably only chatted for 20 minutes but I'll never forget those precious moments. Oh,...

Momma, This month was pretty packed! I'm actually behind in writing it. Momma, some months just turn out like that.  I actually made two trips up to the Finger Lakes during the 23rd month. The first trip was for biddies weekend which we appropriately hashtagged bemybiddie. Rozzie and Shane organized it and we rented a house in Ithaca. We visited a few wineries but we had the very best time just hanging out, catching up, and playing games.  Dad gave us a scare this month when he ended up in the hospital with a kidney scare. It turned out that it was a mix of the flu and his medications. Thankfully he was released after three days and is back to normal!  We got to see our first Harrisburg Heat win of the season! They only won one other game which we had missed a few weeks earlier. Their last home game of the season was an epic win which was awesome!  My second trip up to the Finger Lakes was at the end of the 23rd month. It was a girl's weekend with my co-workers. We v...

Momma, February 8, 2015. The twenty-second month. I haven't even written two full sentences and tears are sliding out of my eyes. The first thing that happened during this month was that Lindsay and I went to SkyZone. That place is really fun!  On January 12, I dropped my car off at the body shop to get two things fixed. One was from some debris that hit the driver's door and the other was the back bumper from when I was rear-ended in the fall by a lady who "wasn't paying attention". I was given a rental car for two of the three days that my car was in the shop. Dad took me to pick up my car on the 14th, and after I paid, I walked out to find that another customer just backed into my shiny scratch free car. I was in shock. Thankfully Dad figured it all out for me and I didn't even look at the damage (which was apparently very small). The gentleman offered to pay and when I went I pick it up on the 16th, he had written me a nice note of apology. That was really...

Momma, It's my first post of 2015. Today is January 8, 2015, the twenty-first month without you.  This past month covered the middle and end of December but I feel like I don't have much to say about that. I did a lot of Christmas shopping.  We also saw the Harrisburg Heat play a few days after Christmas. Unfortunately, they lost this game. Well I didn't post on New Year's and that's okay because there really wasn't much to write about. On NYE morning, I had absolutely no plans. Deb decided to make last minute reservations for Mikado so we ate dinner there. It was delicious as always! After that, Lindsay and her boyfriend watched a movie on the family room tv so I watched tv in my room until right before midnight when I went downstairs to watch it. And then I went to bed. I worked that entire week at my client's house. So each day I spent a couple of hours there fulfilling my break week hours for work. It was still really nice to have lots of time off!  Deb ...

Hello World, It's me, Kelsey. I don't actually have a plan for this post but I should start by being honest...today's day is actually February 23, 2015. This post is time-stamped back in December but I haven't gotten around to writing it yet. Today's date is significant though...exactly one year ago today I was chasing that Princess Half dream, 13.1 miles down the road. So today seems like a good day to write about my year of running. To get a clear picture of how this year of running came to be we should time travel back to June 11, 2013. The day that registration opened for the 2014 Disney Princess Half Marathon. A number of my friends and I had decided that we were going to do this. My phone reminded me all week that registration would open on June 11. When that day came, I was completely terrified. I knew I wanted to do it but the reality of it was that I really had never run more than 3-4 miles...ever. I held my breath, typed in my credit card information and h...